What Now?
by Rogue Darth Skywalker
Summary: The silence between them lasted for several minutes even after the droid left. "I wasn't expecting you." "I missed you." "I love you"… There was so much she wanted to say… "You've done well for yourself," He said suddenly, "Chancellor… Maybe now peace will finally be achieved." His voice was tense and the way he said her new title was laced with venom. AU set after Clovis Arc.
1. What Now?

**Hello!**

 **Been a while since I published anything (great to be getting back into it though) and this story I managed to crank out in about two days! Hope you like it!**

 **Happy reading!**

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Night had fallen on the city several hours ago and despite having dismissed most of her staff, Padme remained. Alone in the newly redecorated Chancellors office, she worked tirelessly at the desk. The fighting was over, but the war was still being fought in what remained of the Republic's central government. As she signed off on yet another deregulation bill that had come across her desk, Padme sighed as she pushed away from the screen. Palpatine had nearly destroyed the galaxy during his tenure as Chancellor and now, as the newly elected Chancellor, the responsibility of righting everything belonged to her. Padme doubted she would be able to undo all of the damage before her term is up and looking at all the data chips laid out on her desk, she was still in disbelief of all the damage that had been done. And the past year when all of it was finally discovered was still difficult to fully comprehend. The full extent of Palpatine's plans were reviled thanks in no small part to Rush Clovis who gave them enough information to at least start an investigation before his untimely death. At first, the investigation only led them to the individuals playing both sides of the war but when it was discovered Palpatine was a Sith Lord, everything changed. The Jedi moved to remove him from office, Palpatine ordered the Clones to turn on their Jedi Generals, and so many were killed in the chaos.

Unconsciously her fingers fiddled with the japor snippet she wore around her neck. She still hasn't heard from Anakin. The last time she'd spoken with him had been over a year ago, and she'd said such horrible things to him. She'd told him that she wasn't happy being with him, that she didn't feel safe with him and after she asked they separate for a while, he left and then he'd been sent back to the front and so when the Republic was on the verge of collapse, he hadn't been here. And in the ensuing chaos, she'd spent weeks wondering if he was even alive. It was only a few months ago, weeks after her election, that she found out he was indeed alive but engaged in battle with the remaining skirmishes across the galaxy.

She'd wanted to order him back to Coruscant, she wanted to come up with some excuse to bring him and what remained of the 501st to the capital, but she didn't— couldn't. She knew her words had hurt him deeply but she couldn't fully apologize for them. It was how she felt at the moment. She knew Anakin had trouble with his anger even before she married him but she'd never seen him in the midst of it and to see how deep his anger ran, frightened her because she couldn't bring him out of it. And yet despite it all, she couldn't deny that she still loved him. But now, after being separated for over a year partly per her own request and the unexpected chaos of the war, she was almost afraid he'd ignore her invitation.

"You know that'd never happen."

Padme jumped in her seat at the unexpected voice. Her head shot up in the direction of it and her jaw fell open. Standing just at the entrance of the office was Anakin Skywalker.

His robe was wrapped tightly around his tall frame and his hands were lost in the sleeves as he stood casually but almost hesitantly near the entrance.

Behind him, the golden protocol droid, See-Threepio waddled into the office, looking as exasperated as a droid could be. "Oh my lady!" He started, "I _did_ tell Master Ani you didn't want to be disturbed, I'm terribly—"

"It's alright, Threepio," She said, holding her hand up, "You may return to your duties." And with a slight bow, the droid left them alone. The silence between them lasted for several minutes even after the droid left. _"I wasn't expecting you." "I missed you." "I love you"…_ There was so much she wanted to say…

"You've done well for yourself," He said suddenly, " _Chancellor_ … Maybe now peace will finally be achieved." His voice was tense and the way he said her new title was laced with venom, though she knew it wasn't directed at her, but rather the man who held the office before her. Palpatine had been almost like a mentor to him. She can only imagine how painful learning that the kind man who'd been a friend and a mentor to him was really evil. And he'd had to go through that alone.

"Anakin—"

"Have you been to see Obi-Wan?" He asked, "He's still in a healing trance. They say he might not make it."

Padme gave him a rueful smile as she stepped around her desk to be slightly closer to him, though he remained firmly planted on the opposite side of the room, "I'm sure he'll make it," She said in the most affirmative voice she could. She wanted to believe he'd pull through. But she'd read the reports just as Anakin most likely had. It didn't look good.

"We should have known…"

"But we didn't—"

"We could have!" He argued. "If your committee had reached out to the Jedi sooner—"

"What?" She cut off, "The Jedi would have attempted to overthrow Palpatine without the knowledge he was a Sith. They'd be going in blind and he would have _won._ "

Anakin dropped his gaze away from her. There was a lot more on his mind and she wanted to hear it all, but somewhere in her mind she also wondered where his thoughts about _her_ and them _lingered_. It was hard to read him right now, he was guarding himself much like how he did in the presence of Master Yoda and Master Windu.

"I should have been there…" He whispered. "If I had been I could have…" His arms tightened around his body much like he used to when he was nervous around her before they were married. It was clear in this instance there were feelings of… inadequacy.

Padme inched her way closer, stepping down from the platform her desk was situated on but remained a respectable distance from him. "You don't know you could have done anything," She said. For all they knew, he could have gotten just as hurt as Obi-Wan or worse— killed.

He scoffed, "Yeah… I _don't_ know… Me being there might have only made it worse."

"Anakin…" Now she knew where he was going with this.

"Master Yoda was right. Training me _was_ a mistake."

She shook her head, "I don't believe that for a second," She argued. "Without you, the war would have been lost years ago!"

"I'm not the Chosen One!" He snarled. "The _only_ reason Qui-Gon wanted to train me was because he _believed_ I was… destined for some great… thing! But it turns out it was all a lie. Just a story in the end."

Frustration rolled off of him in waves. He was lost, confused, and frightened in a way she hadn't seen before. By the time Palpatine's Sith identity was discovered, the Jedi had ruled it imperative they act quickly. And despite how their beloved Jedi Prophecy predicted that only the Chosen One could bring balance to the Force, somehow, Master Windu had defeated Palpatine but at the cost of his own life.

Padme waited a moment for him to gather himself and so she could form her words properly. "And how does it feel?" She asked, "Are you glad such a responsibility is off of your shoulders?"

"Of course!" He answered immediately, but she could read him well enough to know there was more to it than that. "No…— I don't know." Anakin's shoulders tensed as he bit his lip in thought. "I feel…" He paused again as he formulated his words, "I'm relieved that I don't have some cosmic destiny… but… at the same time, it… _justified_ what I was doing. Made me feel like I was doing something meaningful for the greater good."

"And now?" She pressed.

"Now everything just feels wrong," He groaned. " _Everything_ I thought was real, _isn't_. And I don't…" His eyes closed as he shook his head, "I don't know who I am anymore." Anakin always hated when people called him "The Chosen One". It was a title he never wanted but one the Jedi had forced him to carry throughout the years of his training. It was a heavy burden to bear, and yet it was one of the major things that defined who he was and losing it along with everything else falling apart left him teetering on the edge of a cliff, uncertain if he could pull himself away from it, or fall into it.

Padme closed the final distance between them and pressed her hands firmly to his chest. "You are Anakin Skywalker," She said, "You're a Jedi Knight, a General…" He kept his eyes away from her. She knew that those ranks meant nothing to him at the moment. Nevertheless, biting her lip, she continued, "You are my _husband,_ " She said, smiling as his arms relaxed and she eased them to drop away from him so she could press herself closer to him. "You are the man I _love._ "

She watched as his eyes widened before he finally met her gaze again. His deep blue eyes swimming with questions, "Are you sure?" He asked, his arms almost hesitantly skimming across the surface of the senatorial dress she wore.

"Yes."

"But you said—"

"—I know," She cut in, "I know what I said. But none of that means that I don't love you." Leaning up on her toes, she lightly pressed her lips to his for a second before pulling back and when he leaned down to follow her, she pressed their lips together more firmly. His arms finally tightened around her as she gripped fistfuls of his hair, holding him in place as they drowned in one another. She never wanted to pull away from this kiss, but there were still things to resolve and so, only when they were both breathless did they finally pull back, but neither of them letting go of one another. Padme panted as she traced the light stubble that lined his jaw and smiled as his left hand came to cup her cheek, gliding his thumb affectionately across the bone. "You… are jealous, quick to anger, a little patriarchal, and stubborn," She said, "I knew that when I married you. But that night… it got out of hand. And we need to do something to fix that."

His brow furrowed, "What exactly are you suggesting?"

Padme bit her lip as she thought about what she wanted to say. Before her name had been nominated for Chancellor, she would have jumped at the chance for them to reveal their marriage and retire to Naboo to start a family but now… She wasn't sure. Like the galaxy, their marriage felt like it was at a critical juncture. And somehow it was her job to fix both. She knew how to fix the Republic. Much of the groundwork had been laid out and it was a matter of negotiating with what remains of the Separatist Alliance and returning power to the Senate while rebuilding the trust the government had lost. It seemed like a simple list but it was just as unpredictable as rain during the Naboo Spring. And given that the Senate actually entrusted this to _her_ despite her role in Palpatine's rise to power and sharing his homeworld, it was a responsibility not only to the larger Republic but a type of redemption for the people of Naboo. She couldn't just walk away from it… and yet, her commitment to her duty is something that often annoys Anakin.

"I don't know," She admitted and she could see the small glimmer of hope he'd had in his eyes dim and it tore her heart to see it. "But we'll figure it out."

"Will we?" He asked. "Padme, there's no reason for me to stay with the Jedi. Ask me, and I'll leave." His words reignited his hope that they will be able to move forward but it made her mind race. "We can tell everyone about us, start a _family_ , and—"

"—And I'll lose my credibility and possibly be voted out of office."

"So?" He scoffed.

Padme let out a slow sigh as she detangled herself from him, "Anakin…"

His smile fell and his brow narrowed, "You don't want to…"

"I do," She tried to assure, "I want that more than _anything_ but—"

"—But duty comes first." He finished. "It always does," He said, his arms crossing over his chest again as he slowly paced to the right.

"Anakin, in a few years—"

"In a few years your term will be over and _then_ you'll be ready?" He snorted, stopping several feet away from her, "We always said that when the war ended things would be different. Are you telling me that just because you're the Chancellor now that that's changed?"

Padme blinked at him, "Well, yes," She said. "Anakin, the war didn't end like _anyone_ thought it would. There is so much distrust right now that—"

"—You can't afford a scandal."

Her eyes narrowed at him as her shoulders tensed, "I didn't say that! Stop putting words in my mouth!"

"But it's true, isn't it?" He asked. "A love affair with a member of the Jedi Order. How we lied about it for _years_ just so we could do our _duty_. The press would go crazy for that story!"

"Stop it, Anakin!"

"Why?"

Silence fell in the office. Both of them tense and angry and beyond frustrated. No matter what they did in the end, it looked as though one of them would be hurt by it. They both wished things were different. Anakin wished he hadn't been sent to the front before they'd resolved their issues. Padme wished she'd contacted him before her election. But the past can't be changed. And as impossible as a resolution looked at the moment, it's what they both wanted more than anything.

Anakin let out a heavy sigh as he brought his gloved hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry," He said, "I know I'm a mess… But I can't… I can't spend another day without you."

She gave him a sympathetic smile, "Neither can I," She said, "But I don't know what else to do," She admitted.

Closing the distance, he brought a hand up to twirl a lock of her hair around his finger, "Neither do I," He said. "But… would telling the truth really be so bad?" He asked, "I mean, it'll be a scandal for sure, but… we can recover from that, right?"

Padme bit her lip and shrugged a shoulder, "I—I don't know," She said. "All I know is that trust is scarce in the Senate. Palpatine's lies went beyond any politician that came before him. I don't know how another lying Chancellor will affect things."

"But telling the truth would mean there'd be no more lies…"

"Oh, Anakin," She sighed, "Politics is fickle and right now everyone is on edge."

"So… what do we do then?" He asked.

Neither of them had an answer.

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 **This... ended up being sadder than I originally planned but the whole... dramatic ending thing seemed kinda interesting to keep. I'm also still working on a happier ending to this story but I thought it would be nice to give this more mysterious ending it's own spotlight.**


	2. Optional Ending

**I personally like to think of this chapter as OPTIONAL. Mostly because I can see the story ending in the first as a tragedy. And I can see this chapter as a sort of butterfly effect ending where if they make the right choices this could be the result. I kinda like the idea of this chapter being an AU of an AU... makes it a bit more interesting because of how one choice can change everything.**

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Sitting on opposite sides of one of the couches just below the holoprojector, the silence continued. Every once in a while the sound of the small motors in his cybernetic hand hissed as he shifted. Sometimes he would clench a fist, flex his fingers, or fold it in the sleeves of his cloak. No words were spoken and despite the lateness of the hour, neither wanted to leave. Both fearing that leaving this unresolved would shatter whatever was left of their relationship. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She knew things could never be as they were before but she'd hopped that it would be easier than this. Padme spared a glance in his direction, watching his eyes carefully as they bounced around the room, trying to find something to focus on— anything but her, it seemed. She understood why. She'd shut down his idea of coming out of hiding. And while logical all her reasons made sense, it didn't make it any less painful for either of them.

"Anakin…" His head shot up as he finally met her gaze, his eyes holding a small glimmer of hope but most of it was hidden behind guarded trepidation. "I don't think we can get out of me not finishing my term," She said.

"I—I know," He muttered, "But why does that mean we still have to stay hidden even if I leave the order? It the press really that much of a concern?"

Padme shook her head, "No, it's that I don't _want_ you to leave," She said. "Being a Jedi—"

"—It's my choice."

"Don't," She snapped, "Don't do it just for me— for us. That's not fair to you. You've worked so hard to get to where you are now. I couldn't bear to be the reason you threw it all away."

Anakin gave her a small half smile. "I always told you I'd leave someday when the war ended. Why is me actually _wanting_ to leave such a surprise?"

"Because you're you," She said. "You say such beautiful things that sound so perfect and dreamlike…" She gave a small shrug and wrapped her arms around herself, "I always let myself believe that fantasy world you'd talk about just for the moment. But I never thought it would actually happen when that moment finally came."

His brow furrowed tightly, "What? Why would you think that?"

"Anakin, domesticity would drive you _crazy_! It wouldn't nearly be as exciting as half of the adventures you've had."

He scoffed, "Really? Do you know who my _wife_ is? Excitement always seems to find her."

"It won't always," She said, "Do you honestly think there'll be any danger when my term ends and I retire from politics?"

"Then we'll make it exciting," He said with a shrug.

Padme pursed her lips skeptically. She wanted to believe him. She wanted so much to just accept his answer and run with it. But she'd be lying if she said she didn't have doubts. Anakin had been pod racing before he was nine! He'd been a Jedi, a General… the most normal days he'd probably lived was the short time they'd spent together on Naboo before they were married and the several infrequent days and weeks they'd had together throughout the war. Such peaceful times were probably very therapeutic but as a lifestyle… how would he manage living without some kind of thrill?

Anakin leaned forward, his eyes piercing hers as though he could see through her— and he probably could with his Force abilities. His lips curled into a genuine smile, "Padme, a life with you is all the excitement I need," He said. "You're right that there'll be a slight adjustment phase, but I want this. I don't ever want to have to sneak into our home again. I want to be able to sleep without worrying if the next day will be my last. I want to wake up everyday beside you. I want to raise a family with you." He let out a light chuckle and scooted closer to her, "And I guess if that's not exciting enough, we could always just have more kids. Knowing you, they'll be hellions."

Padme gaped at him before swatting his chest none too gently, "It's more like they'll get that from _you_."

He laughed and gave a small shrug before resting his arm over the back of the couch, "Maybe they'll just get it from both of us." He said, "But… what do you think? It won't be easy, but I'm willing if you are."

Slowly her smile faded as she reflected on the idea swimming through his head. As usual, it was a beautiful dream. But that was just what Anakin was — a dreamer. It was up to her to be the practical one, to think things through to conclusion. And were it not for her term as Chancellor, she would have jumped into his arms and let him whisk her away to Naboo to begin that difficult transition process. Her term puts a significant snag on that plan though. If she were to resign and leave the rest of the term to the Vice Chancellor, questions would be raised about why she left. That would no doubt eventually lead the press to her relationship with Anakin and start the very scandal they had always feared. And staying in office while maintaining the secret was also out of the question as Anakin's reluctance clearly showed. He wanted to go all in. Logic told her to take the conservative path but the reality demanded some middle ground needed to be found.

"We can't let anyone know, not yet anyway," She said, pausing to wait for the anger from Anakin, but it didn't happen. Looking up, she saw his jaw was clenched as he waited for her to finish her thought. He was really serious about this. "If you leave the Jedi… You can… find work, at least until my term ends."

Anakin let out a sigh, "So it's just like before then?"

"No, not really," She said. "We can be seen together in public, go out to dinner, come home whenever you want… We just can't let people know there is anything more than a close friendship. At least for a while. When my term is almost over, we can, people would just think we're dating by that point."

Anakin pulled his arm off of the back of the couch and folded his hands together in front of him. She could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to come up with a revision to her plan. She thought it was as good of a plan as any given the circumstances. It found a way to meet most of their immediate needs but keeping the lie going for a few more years was the main flaw but it was one she didn't see a way around and she hoped that he could see it too. "There isn't any other way, is there?" He asked. Padme shook her head. Heaving a heavy sigh, Anakin slumped back against the couch, his head bumping against the hard back with a _thump_. "I guess… we'll have to make it work then," He said at last. "It won't be easy but…"

"Nothing about our lives is easy," She finished, smiling at him before leaning forward and pressing her lips to his. Things between them were still a long way from being completely resolved and more challenges stood in their way now than either of them expected. But taking one hesitant step closer to finding peace was better than stepping away from the idea entirely. And knowing how stubborn both of them are, there was little doubt they wouldn't overcome whatever obstacles would come to stand in their way.

END

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 **I hope you guys liked it! Oddly enough, when I was writing it I could kind of see parallels in Anakin and Padme's relationship in this AU and in their relationship in ROTS. In both cases their relationship is teetering and they could both walk away happy or lose one another. Just thought that was cool because I didn't even plan for that to happen.**


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